Valentine’s Day Thought on Relationships
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How far communication has come…new methods are a lot more interesting than the old paper and pen letter (remember those?).
On the other hand, terminology such as “friending” leads us to think that friendship can be boiled down to texts and emails.
For deeper, meaningful relationships, this is likely not true.
Some “Do’s and Don’ts” for longer-lasting, satisfying relationships:
o Make time to laugh: Even when life throws you the inevitable curve ball, it is important to take a brief break, observe, and experience lighter moments. Laughter has multiple benefits, including those of building bonds between people.
o Remember that in times of chaos, you learn who you are and what it really means to love: In contrast to the staged lives in movies, we will all see our partners stressed and in so-called “stress behaviors” at times. It takes a strong person to be kind and love when their partner is in such moments. Obviously, this kindness can “pay forward” good will and love into the future
o Listen: This can be deceivingly hard to do. When one does not listen, or interrupts early, negative messages and thoughts are built in the receiving partner’s mind. The strong behavioral message is “You don’t have anything smart to say.”
o Stockpile strong feelings such as anger, sadness, neediness: Dealing objectively with feelings as they arise is far better. Mixed in this tip is need to avoid the “perfection expectation” of one’s partner. Life goes far better when we “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”
o Try to change the other person/partner: One way to look at our human experience is to see each individual as having a list of “assets and liabilities.” The most comfortable relationships acknowledge and embrace these qualities in a way that works. Always trying to change our partner leads to frustration that can become entrenched.
Call Dr. Hopper and the The Hopper Group if you would like to claim your fulfilled self. We will help your work towards Mental Fitness and life satisfaction.